Jessie X

I spent almost the entire day working on my personal database and invitations for a Living Locally party I’m co-hosting in June. Oh my goodness. How tedious, time-consuming and, well, really informative it is to go through this process. Who do I want to invite? Why? Are they in my weak social tie circles? My strong ties? Do I feel a connection? Do I want more connection? Each name and each person is a choice about my local network and what that means to me.

It’s a long story, some of which is found here, here and here, but I’d been feeling terribly adrift for about a month or so. Projects I’d been working on just didn’t feel shiny and energizing, and while I certainly wasn’t unhappy, I couldn’t feel which short-term actions to take in my life. Well, my friend, Cherie, and I cohost a Living Locally party each month, and we pick a local lady. (we call them HocoLocal Ladies … nerdy, cute and meaningful, as we are in Howard County/HoCo.) Anyway, turns out it was finally time for me to be the next HocoLocal Lady. I have been resisting this. And how!

Namely, because I didn’t want to have to take stock of my local network. Because taking stock means a lot more than just the work of putting *all* the bits of data together for a robust list; it requires the thinking and reviewing and deciding of who is on that list and why. This party list is very different than a throw-the-name-in database. See, we send out gorgeous handwritten invitations, which cost us close to $2 a piece to get out the door, so it’s not as though I want an invite list of 600 people.

When I started working on my list a week or so back, I realized that this is a very significant time for me to take stock of who I know, who has been meaningful in my life and who I want to stay in touch with. See, May 18th marks the third year of my arriving back in my hometown, Columbia, after a whirlwind marriage that had me all over the place and planet. And while I certainly don’t live a life of regrets and am glad God didn’t give us a rewind button, I did come back “shell shocked” (as a friend just called it) and not quite ready to re-integrate fully. I wanted to take things a little bit slow. Nor, frankly, did I want to pick up exactly where I’d left off. I didn’t necessarily want the same social circles, friendships and networks. I think that was kind of part of the reason why leaving Columbia was so attractive: to make a cut.

So, these past three years of being back have been a time of realigning select relationships and starting others anew. I find it wonderful and significant that I will be having a party to deepen these relationships even more.

Now, I kid you not, I have spent almost three full business days identifying people, tracking information down, and putting together a party list database. So, please, help me out: If you’re reading this blog post and feel that I’m part of your local network, drop me a line or write a comment here. Say hi. This would be meaningful to me.

And, lest I sound like a nut, working away on a May weekend, I did rock the house (but didn’t win the Master Hoops title) at Fluid Movement’s annual Hula-Hoop-a-thon. (That’s not me in the pic; I was dressed very suburban-ish.) Plus, I got in a great walk around Centennial Lake (gotta love them fake-lakes and well-maintained paths in Hoco/Columbia), went to a contra dance Friday night, and went to a fabulous neighborhood block party in my old Owen Brown hood.