I was getting my do done. Down in DC. Last Tangle. L & 19th NW. My life right now is mostly suburban and car-based, and I think like a driver. But about once a week I’m in DC, and when I am, I’m usually a pedestrian. And need to think like one.
So, here I am. En route to getting my do done. Walking from the Metro to the salon. I come to an intersection and wait for the light to turn, indicating it’s safe for pedestrians to cross. A slightly disheveled, rather handsome, 40-something and very German-looking man has been waiting patiently. The light still indicates that it’s not safe for pedestrians to cross. I wait as well. Three young women arrive and proceed into the intersection. The light turns. Oops. The cars have a turn arrow. The young women are suddenly A Problem. A Safety Hazard. Self-centeredness and self-focus reeks from their behavior.
The man and I wait. I say to him, “This is why there are systems and red lights and green lights. If we all work within the system, people will be safer. Drivers will be better off. The system is a good one when we all agree to use it.” The light turns and we walk.
My mind starts to reel. I suddenly understand this confusion that’s been swirling in me about systems, authority, organizations, agreements … and, of course, generations. As I walk, I understand a nuanced yet clear distinction. See, about 16 months ago, I did two really big things for me: I got a j-o-b, and I joined the board of directors of a local org.
I understood, as an early wave GenXer, born in 1963, that the GenX midlife challenge is to move away from the societal fringes and isolation dominating most GenXers’ young adult years (21-41) and to move into an integrated role inside structures and systems. But there really is a nuance here. And the role of GenX leadership is not to move into systems as a sub, or lackey or defeated sole.
Nay, it is the opposite. The role/value/mission/challenge and opportunity for GenXers in midlife is to come as fully formed adults, pragmatic, hardscrabble, risk-taking and very adept at solving problems and to bring that into organizations.
See, I’ve always been a bit of a rebel. And I’ve never cared for rules that were about asserting authority *over* me for the sake a structure’s continuity that feeds power to others by my inclusion in the system.
But agreements. Agreements are different.
Agreements are about bringing ones full self into a system, being responsible and having integrity as an individual, and participating in a system by choice and intentional. Agreements are where and how GenXers, and the Millennials below them, will push calcified Boomer systems to a breaking point. The Boomer orientation — and remember, I’m talking in sweeping generalizations of archetypes of generations not, by any means, each member of the generation — is toward turf, ownership of power and hierarchy in which they are the generous ones who choose and decide who *gets* to come into their systems and who is rewarded (by their standards, of course).
Most GenXers — and I’m in the front of the line here — genuinely don’t give a shit about these systems. Don’t trust ‘em. Don’t value ‘em. Don’t put all their eggs in one basket. And while GenXers were the predominant gen in young adulthood and were living their archetypal role of being fragmented, isolated/temp workers/freelancers/entrepreneurial/putting their eggs in several baskets (and — no, we’re not disloyal, we just don’t trust elder generations to watch our backs), GenXers are no longer the gen defining young adulthood. Millennials are redefining young adulthood. They’re collegial. Peer-oriented. They expect to be included. Millennials expect to have a say that has nothing to do with their level of experience or capacity. They simply expect to be included in the decision-making about what’s important.
As well, GenXers are now defining midlife culturally. And GenXers don’t care about broken systems. They care about efficiency. Function. Survival. Fixing things. And if an organization needs to die — or be killed — so that All Society can survive The Crisis (we got another 15 years — and it will get worse, folks), then so be it.
All right, I’m meandering a bit. Let me see if I can pull it together.
Agreements are the new currency of power. Hierarchy and competition is actually going to become (has become?) a liability. Those who can collaborate, integrate and find agreement (which is very different from compromise and can be partial, temporary and specific), will have the upper hand in The Crisis.
So, in this one block of walking to the next intersection where, again, the three young women walked right out into the street without waiting, and while the German man and I patiently waited, I understood why organizational authority has little appeal to me. But agreements do, and deeply.
I’m most curious to see how this shift will occur. To see how power-oriented Boomers (and others) will be marginalized in the coming decade, how collaboration-oriented people (mostly GenX and Millennials) will crack calcified systems, and what will emerge from it all.
Shine on. Shine bright. And, dammit, if you’re a GenXer whose been hiding under a rock and away from the tyranny of excessive authority, the time is now and the time is right. It’s more than an opportunity. It’s the mission, might and right of GenXers to clear the slate and to create functional systems that will allow the Hero generation — the Millennials, and generations, behind us to step into a more safe and structured world. The Millennials have their own role and opportunity. It’s different than the Boomer or GenX role, but they can’t do their part without adult help. Boomers need to move toward stewardship and away from operations, and GenXers get out from under their rocks and fix the systems.
It’s going to be really tough and really ugly if we don’t.